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Free banana ... help yourself

HELP YOURSELF!

Sometimes the generosity of others can be quite overwhelming. People with such big hearts pouring out their love for life for all of us to share in the goodness and bathe in the glory of the world around us. Other times the generosity is less than overwhelming. This is a story about one of those times, although in fairness, perhaps this is more of a commentary about myself that I can’t see goodness and charity for what it is. I’ll let you be the judge…

So, I’m at work today, its early afternoon and I finally wander down to the break room to rinse the cold and stale coffee out of the bottom of my cup. When I walk in the break room I notice a small black banana sitting on the counter top next to the microwave about six inches from the hole where the trash can is. At first I think to myself “someone must have tried to throw that away, but missed” but then I notice that there is a note next to the banana. Now curious I move closer to read the note … HELP YOURSELF it so kindly announces.

So I think to myself…”seriously?” Did someone REALLY put this 3” long miniature banana that is so black it has got to be practically liquid here for one of their lucky co-workers to enjoy, and who is this person? At first I just thought they were some lazy jerk who missed the trashcan, but now? Now I don’t know what to think.

Is this an act of generosity, that I the cynic can’t appreciate? Or, is this some sort of act of spite against the rest of us who work here? Some sort of commentary about how this person feels about this company and those of us who work around them? I guess the mystery will remain unsolved.

Oh, by the way. There is some free food in the break room. Hurry.

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So a few weeks ago my department at work moved into a new building. I work in an office where the dress is considered business casual, and most of the people dress pretty professionally. One thing I’ve noticed in the new building where we are now is an alarmingly high number of men with ponytails. I don’t know, maybe this is a fashion statement that I’m just missing the boat on, but seriously? You guys work in an office at a white collar job. Please at least try to look like you have a brain.

Number one, men should not have hair long enough to put in a ponytail in the first place. This isn’t 1985, you are not in a rock band and that’s all I have to say about that!

Warning: I sat down to eat what I was hoping would be a delicious Healthy Choice microwave lunch today, but at the moment I am sorely disappointed. The package boasts “White Meat Chicken in Homestyle Glaze, Vegatables, Whipped Potatoes & Peach Crisp” but to my shock and horror when I opened the package the microwave safe plate contained but three compartments, none of which housed whipped potatoes! White Meat Chicken in Homestyle Glaze…CHECK! Vegetables … CHECK! Peach Crisp … Questionable, but CHECK! Whipped Potatoes? OMG, no freaking Whipped Potatoes. Healthy Choice meals, and ConAgra Foods, you will not get away with this! You have wronged me and I will have my revenge. When and where you will never know, but I urge you to be vigilant. I’m keeping my eye on you. Sincerely, the Pooping Dog

Put Some Shoes On!

I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I kind of have a thing about feet, but before you start wigging out on me, I don’t mean a weird “oh god I love your feet” or “can I lick your feet” kind of way. In fact it’s kind of the opposite. Feet really sort of creep me out. I’m not saying I’ve never seen any sexy feet, but even the most attractive feet could not really get my loins tingling. Who knows, maybe I just haven’t met the right feet yet though.

But I digress…

I’m not here to talk about sexy feet. Today we’re talking about ugly feet.

I live in Florida where a lot of sandal wearing goes on, and I’m here to tell you there are some people that simply should not be allowed to wear sandals. I don’t know if some people are simply delusional and think they have attractive feet, or if they just don’t give a crap about what the rest of us think. Either way, these people need to be reigned in. While a strong self image is crucial to your emotional well being, the flaunting of ugly feet is simply not good for anyone, and quite frankly it is detrimental to societal well being as a whole.

Put some freaking shoes on you ugly feeted people! Geez…

SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS. I stumbled across this band shortly after moving to Tampa in 1996 when I heard an instrumental song of theirs used as the bumper music during a local radio station’s traffic report, and have been in love with them ever since. They play a campy blend of surf rock and country music for high class trailer trash types, and are known for their high energy live shows. Though commercial success has eluded the band they have had a very loyal cult following for nearly 20 years, and attending their annual show here in Tampa at Skipper’s Smokehouse is something I look forward to every year.

Fortunately for this year the wait is over and I’ll get to check them out tonight. Yeehaw!

To learn more about the band visit their Official Webpage or the SCOTS Wikipedia page.

Obviously I am missing something.

Every single time I turned on my TV over the past week and a half it seemed like Curling was being shown on at least one of the channels that showed Olympic coverage, so that must mean that there is a big demand for coverage, but I just don’t get it. I mean if one of the pieces of equipment you need to bring with you to work every day is a broom should what you actually do be classified as a sport?

I guess if ESPN can show Poker on TV as a sport then Curling does indeed qualify as a sport. At least curling requires some small amount of physical activity, unlike poker where drinking a beer at the table is acceptable. (Although something tells me beer was involved in the creation of the “sport” of Curling.)

I tried to watch some curling to see what it was about, but no matter how much I watched I just couldn’t figure it out. Sometimes they tried NOT to score, and when they did score I never could figure out what the criterea was. Anyway congratualtions to Canada for winning the big gold medal match on Saturday night in prime time (which shows again I guess how popular it is.) Also congratulations on the hockey win. We’ll give you guys hockey … we’ve got baseball, and the first Spring Training games start this week, so the dog’s life is now back in order.

Be Gone I Say!