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Archive for the ‘restroom etiquette’ Category

Help a brother out and ALWAYS roll from the front.

Help a brother out and ALWAYS roll from the front.

There is nothing in this world that seems to cause more marital friction than bathroom etiquette. Actually there may be quite a few, but today that’s what I am going to talk about, bathroom etiquette. Men have been much maligned in the area of restroom etiquette, but today I intend to once and for all settle a long standing debate in my family. I will prove once and for all that at least in this one instance I am superior to both my mother and my wife when it comes to one of the bathroom’s greatest areas of conflict: the humble toilet paper roll.
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Help a dog out and ALWAYS roll from the front.

Help a brother out and ALWAYS roll from the front.

On Tuesday the voters of Massachusetts spoke loud and clear about how they felt about the current Democratic agenda, and most loudly about the current plans for health care reform. Now it’s your chance to speak out and be heard too!

Cottonelle the makers of fine toilet paper (although the Dog personally prefers Charmin) are conducting a new poll to settle the age old question once and for all … should toilet paper roll from the top or from the bottom? The Dog has expressed his opinion on the subject in a past post that continues to be one of the sites most read blogs.

So I urge you my fellow pooping ponderers, ponder no more. Commit to a side and let your voice be heard and participate in the poll.

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Waterless urinals.

I'm semi-concerned about this.

So it’s Monday after the Christmas holidays, and I innocently walk into the restroom at work to take a leak only to find that the urinals have all been replaced. The new urinals are “waterless” urinals which I suppose is supposed to help make the company feel like they are doing something good for the environment. Or, more likely it makes the company think they can save a few bucks on their water bills each month.

As terrific as these new urinals may be, I have a few concerns. My initial concern when walking up to them is that they are awfully high on the wall. I mean if I was like two inches shorter I’d have to use the little kid’s urinal to keep my ball sack from setting on the edge of the bowl while I take a leak. I’m only 6′ tall, so there are quite a few men in my office two inches or more shorter than me who are now relegated to the one kiddie urinal at the end of the restroom. That’s just embarrassing. My other concern is the “no freaking water to wash down my piss issue.” I’ll grant you that gravity does a pretty good job of draining away 99% of the urine, but what about those little droplets that get stuck to the sides, or on top of the drain? They just get to sit there all day festering in the flourescent light? Little waves of urinal odor wafting off of them? I’m a bit concerned about all this.

The good new is … at least for now … I discovered that the smaller bathroom at the back of the building still has a trusty waterfully good standard flush urinal.

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While in general the dog does not advocate the use of public toilets for, uh hum…number two…there will inevitably be that situation where you just cannot hold it until you return to the safety of your home. When you do find yourself in that situation there are certain rules of etiquette that you need to be sure to follow in order to make the experience as pleasant as possible for yourself and the rest of the public.

First and foremost you need to make sure that you choose the proper stall. If there is more than one stall to choose from, the handicapped stall (or the executive suite as I like to call it) is always your best choice. You have plenty of room to do your business and you have your own sink and paper towels when finished. BAM! There is nothing like the handicapped stall for comfort and style. Now some of you may argue that the handicapped stall should be kept open in case a handicapped person comes in and needs to use it. That is a position that I myself once adhered to, but after months of painstaking research and interviews I determined that though handicapped parking is reserved solely for the handicapped, the handicapped stall falls into a separate category. The stall is open to all, but is specifically designed to accommodate the needs of the handicapped as well as the able bodied.

Now the second and most important rule of etiquette that you need to follow when using a public toilet is the use of the courtesy flush. No one wants to smell your “business” or be forced to try and imagine what the hell it was you had for dinner last night. Use the courtesy flush my friends and keep the odor to a minimum. After your first volley be sure to give a flush and send that shit where it belongs. Don’t let it linger.

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restroom

I think a lot about pooping … maybe too much. Then again, I guess that’s why they call me the pooping dog.

Of course as we all know everyone poops, so it’s not like it is something that we should be ashamed of. At the same time though it’s not like it is something that you want to shout out at the world, “Hey look at me, I just took a dump.”

So, that brings me to my dilemma. When you’ve got to drop a deuce at the office, what rules of etiquette apply? Normally I refer to the International Center for Bathroom Etiquette for my etiquette questions, as they offer thorough answers for nearly all possible restroom dilemmas. They do have a nice section on workplace bathroom etiquette, however I still find myself with one very important unanswered question. Post act, what is the proper etiquette for leaving the restroom?
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